YouTube has been banned here in Thailand since the beginning of April which is fucking bullshit!!! Where am I gonna watch the Dwight Howard sticker dunk over and over and over. Or watch Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes. Or the nine million other glorious time wasting, but purely gratifying video reels. Guess nowhere until that ban gets lifted. If it ever will.

The reason the site got banned is that somebody posted a video depicting the King’s image getting defaced with a pair of shoe prints on his head. It is against the law to speak negatively about the King or to deface any picture of him. Jails sentences can be given to individuals, and even as of March of this year, a Swiss man in Chiang Mai went on a drunken rampage and was spray painting all the public pictures of the King. He got 20 years in prison, but the King pardoned him about a month later. I think the prison sentence is becoming a bit relaxed for those offense, but you’d be a goddamn fool to walk around spittin’ out hatred for the King around here. The Thai people literally love this man.

Anywho, the soles of peoples’ feet are considered offense to Buddhists while the top of the head is considered sacred. So, there you have it, some fuck vents his anger on YouTube, and now I can’t watch Larry David’s antics or my NBA folk doing some rim-rockin madness. Keeping my fingers crossed on this one.

Latest update includes the video being removed, but the Thai government wants to press charges against YouTube for ‘lese majeste’ even though they don’t understand that it isn’t the company who is to blame for the video. They simply host the files.
Whateva. I’ll keep it in my bookmarks until the unveiling arrives and I rejoice.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070507/tc_afp/thailandroyalsinternet

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This is outdated at this point, but fuck it, I gotta give my homeslice Kobe some props for his wicked thrashing of opponents in the late games of the season. Dropping half-dollar pieces on teams left and right. I don’t have the stats at hand, but it was something like 7 of 10 games he went for fifty or more. Simply boss.

Except, change your goddamn number back to 8 next season. There should be a rule against people just changing their number for the hell of it. Like Jordan’s 45 jersey. Uggh.

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Did you know Thai people eat corn, red beans, black beans, and a variety of other odd things as toppings for their ice cream? I didn’t and I still find it quite odd that these come off as desserts. I have tried the fruit oriented toppings which are “arroy” but I don’t see myself ruining my chocolate ice cream with any corn in the near future. Well, maybe a couple kernels so I can say I gave it a go. Top of the list is “I-thim thawt” which is deep fried ice cream. So damn good. I should walk across the street right now and dig in on some, but I’ll restrain myself….or try that is.

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Well shit it has taken waaaaaayyyy longer than I expected to finally send out some good ol’ ruminations. It seems like just fucking yesterday when it was my birthday and I was gonna sit down and spit it out and drop that Top Rankin Hi-Fi pon di ears. But alas, its been six weeks or so since then and I’m just now getting’ round to it. Whateva. Not sure where all that time went, and I’m still tryin to get a handle on weekly routines and shit like dat.

Let’s get into the ruminations bank that has been slowly accruing over the course of time. Just gonna run through this mofo with aimless pathwork. First up on the docket, my trip to Penang, Malaysia. Oh damn, this shows how long I had been dropping shit in the rummy bank.

I went down to Malaysia via bus back right around St. Patty’s day to do some visa shit. Good experience all around, but damn, I have little desire to go back to Penang. This was a healthy taste of people who just have no desire to talk to foreigners. I wrote down a bit of a daily log, so I’ll just run through some of them highlights or lowlights.

The trip started off with me grabbing seat 6A at about 10 o’clock at night on a somewhat empty bus, maybe 50% full. I was thinking this was gonna be super relaxed for the whole ride over to Haad Yai in Southern Thailand. Little did I know that we were gonna stop no less than five more times and fill this damn bus to the brim. So, my actual seat was 6B, so when the person who owned the other seat came I had to move over and sure enough this had to be the only seat where the seat in front of it was broken and permanently stuck in reclining position. Tallest person on the bus and I get this fucking seat. Then, to top it off, we stop again, and who grabs the two seats in front of me. Two ten-year-old kids who had every intention of making a shit load of noise. Fuck me.

So my attempt at reading lasted for three pages and then I moved on to listening to Sizzla’s “Burnin up di chalice inna Buckingham Palace – Roots Vibration Mix”. Time to fall asleep after staring at what looked to be some beautiful areas around the Krabi province. Tons and tons of stars out the window which was very nice to see. I fall asleep (I’m cracking up right now cuz I forgot about this) and proceed to dream about shoving the hell out of the chair in front of me in a massively angry fashion, eating sunflower seeds, and listening to “Jimmy Mack” by Martha and the Vandellas. Huh?

Anywho, I get into Had Yai around 4 AM and sit outside at some food stalls drinking chai tea, reading “God of Small Things”, smoking rollies, watching the news on TV where for some odd reason they are showing the Branch Davidians massacring the ATF unit in Waco, Texas. Well, I waited until 9 or so when a minibus arrived to take me across the border and into Malaysia. Once again, I get on and there is only one other person. Having not learned a damn thing from the night before, I think this is gonna be a VIP trip down south. Hell no, we make another pitstop and onboard comes ten more people to fill the whole bus up. Oh well, no worries.

Off we go, and we reach the border where we are all shoved out to pass through the turnstyles and get our stamps. Here comes yours truly and the officer yells “Overstay and tells me to fuck off and go to some office nearby.” Okay, what?, I’m asking. I go into the office which is for people who have stayed over the date on their visa and I’m as equally confused as the Thai officer working there who tells me to go directly back to the guy who told me to fuck off. Uhhhh….so I do. And the first guy proceeds to apologize profusely to me since he misread my May stamp as March and thought I was an overstay. I was wholly confused by the proceedings but thankful I didn’t fuck something up as I usually do.

Anyways, we head on down south to Penang which is an island off of Malaysia’s west coast and as was Phuket when I arrived here, Penang was way more massive than I imagined. I was talking with a resident on the bus there, and he told me that area is one of the biggest micropchip producers throughout Asia and the World. Whoda thunk it? Well, we make it to Chulia St. which is backpackers central and the place you need to be if you are trying to get visa stuff sorted out. I had teamed up with a British guy named Anthony and his Thai girlfriend Rada who both live outside of Bangkok and were on the bus as well. In some massively sweltering heat, we hunt down a place to sleep for our stay.

I drop my stuff and then decide I need to make my way through the streets to get this money exchange, visa, and work permit shit sorted out. I was thinking this was gonna take the whole damn day, and when I asked the front desk guy the best place to go to do it all, he said “Right here”. I gave him all the paper work and the problem was solved with ten minutes. No shit, that was easier than expected.

Well, to not let his continually drag on and on, I’ll sum up the happenings. First, the people of Georgetown, Penang are a mix of mostly Indian, Chinese, and Malaysians. They also are the complete opposite of Thai people because they walk down the street in an eyes straight fashion, no expression, no acknowledgement, and no desire to interact with you in any form or fashion. Oh well, I’ll just check out what is a beautiful little city and avoid the people roaming it I suppose. Tons of tiny streets that are woven together in a huge non-gridlike fashion. Very fun to get lost in some random ass alley. It was Sunday and the temples and mosques were carrying on with their rituals and prayers. I saw some of the biggest sticks of incense that I’ve ever seen at one of the Buddhist temples. Smoke stacks outta those things. Fragrant and beautiful surroundings. I carried on throughout the day and after getting bored sick, I decided this was the perfect opportunity to go check out 300 which had just come out about a week or so before.

I made my way down to this massive tower in Penang. Maybe about 60-70 stories tall. Where they had a cinema in a building adjacent to the tower. I’m chomping at the bit at this point for the feature to start rolling. I had been wanting to see 300 since last fall when I saw the trailer for. I requested a ticket and oddly enough in Malaysia you have assigned seating at the theater. So, after some confusion when the girl was asking me which seat in particular I would like, I got the ticket. Made my way on in, and sat down to witness what is surely one of the sickest movies I had seen in quite some time. Fuckin sick!!! Gladiators? A-Roo! A-Roo! A-Roo!

I’ve been reading the Frank Miller original series on my computer and I love the mix of stories between the screen adaptation and the original script. Regardless of the words, the artwork in the graphic novel aka comic book is beyond filthy. Aight, so I actually wanted to go see it again here in Phuket, but just never got around to it. Looks like I’ll have to pick it up on bootleg DVD in the future.

Let me wrap up this Malaysia trip shit now, Monday morning came and believe it or not I felt like I was back at 1041 Williams Mill Rd in the ATL cause someone was roasting some coffee beans somewhere and the JavaVino shop across from 1041 used to always roast coffee on Monday mornings.

Well, I make my way around and figure out a few things such as the burrito shop around there apparently only serves burritos between 3 and 4 in the afternoon. I asked every time I passed when I could come indulge and the answer was always that the guy who makes them is not to be found but he is usually around in the late afternoon. What? Man, I was really wanting to dine on some Mexican goodness. Thai food is fantastic, but there isn’t Mexican to be food anywhere around Phuket Town.

Later on, I made my way to the Snake Temple and held a 30-foot reticulated python. By held I mean, I was quaking in my Chucks as only the snake’s head and upper body were drapped over my forearms. Holy shitballs, I wasn’t really sure that snakes could truly reach that size…..massive! Well, things wound down that day, and I spent some time in Little India in the evening where I ate with Tony and Rada at a really good Indian restaurant who had some of the best chai tea I’ve every had. We then made our way back to the hotel where Tony offered me some herb he had brought with him. We got a laugh out of the fact that he smuggled it in despite the arrival card blatantly stating that there would be “Death via Hanging” to all drug traffickers. Well, I hadn’t smoked any herb since I departed the ATL, so I was looking forward to tokin’ and jokin’. Sat around with Tony talking about who knows what at this point and then proceeded to zone out on the mattress and rock out to some Pressure Sounds vibrations. This concluded my trip down to Penang, and as of now, it looks like I’m probably not gonna be heading back down there anytime soon. Check some of the photos from the trip when I post them….whenever that may be.

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I’d love to write something now, but I’m far too busy being delicious.

Original video got deleted. Can’t find it anywhere, but it was classic.

Here’s some others.

http://www.muft.tv/watch/Video,Search,+,showName,Judge%20Fudge.html

Love how his pager says “Be Delicious”. Awesome.

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Okay a quick list of some strange, and I mean strange!, dreams I’ve had in my first month here. I haven’t been smokin’ herb for about a month now which would lead me to believe that is the reason behind these. Elimination of toxins. These are the kind where you wake up, and just go…what the fuck?

• Fist fight with Ms. Aaron from St.Pius X English class
• 2×4 fight with my friend Aaron Wood from the ATL
• Note the theme of Aaron and Wood in the above….HUH???
• Absolute Onslaught Maniacal Destructive Behavior in the lobby, front desk, kitchen area, rooms, parking lot, wherever else in some random hotel. Reason why? Unknown. I woke up.
• Getting Busted For Distribution of Lambs Bread at the Decatur Library, and subsequent elimination of my travels
• Something that had to do with Mr. Brisbane from Pius.
• Dreaming about pinching myself, and then waking up from doing so.
• Operating a Soundclash at the base of Stone Mountain. And I mean a proper soundclash straight from the Nottingham Carnival stylee.
• Jermaine O’Neal from the Pacers was my brother and we were rebels in the Land of the Rising Sun. Oh yeah Pat O’Brien from Entertainment Tonight and the 90’s show “How’d they do That?” was our father.
• Having four rows of teeth like a shark
• Something else ridiculously crazy when I go to sleep tonight. Wonder what.

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How fitting in a dubwise situation, next up is a place called Ska Bar down in Kata Beach which I went to a few weeks ago and have intended to go back to since, but haven’t. I thought it would be highly catered toward tourists aka only Bob Marley and Jimmy Cliff, but when we sat down, among all the farangs (foreigners), they were droppin some Black Uhuru, followed by some Junior Kelly, and followed by nuff wicked vibrations to make them a legit soundsystem.

Zero Bob was played, and I had to explain myself out to my friend that it wasn’t that Bob Marley is not one of JA’s finest products, its just that it is beyond stereotypical for a touristy type reggae bar to just play Legend, followed by Legend, followed by Legend. Fuck man…give me some Sylford Walker and Welton Irie “Lambs Bread International” instead.

Lack of beer and cigarettes. They have crap for selection when it comes to the sinful libations. Literally like five beers to choose from…Chang, Leo, Singha, Heineken, and Tiger. Ouch. Smokes…Pall Mall, Benson and Hedges, Marlboro, Wonders, L&M, and whatever else I would never ever purchase in the states. I could go for an American Spirit and a Terrapin right now. Oh well, comes with the territory…literally.

Tattoos in Thailand. People love me man. They haven’t seen someone like me in probably forever. There are plenty of Thai’s with tattoos, but they don’t have that BlndSght style goin on. Nothing but smiles and thumbs up for me. Back in the ATL it was a daily basis where I was internally telling local Highland folk to fuck off cause off their attitudes. Here the shit never happens.  I’ve gone to bars and had people tell me they recognize me just from riding their motorbike down the street. Rockstar baby. Kinda odd.

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Toil No More, O’Weary Vessel! This is taken from a Russ Abbott painting I purchased last year, and I love the phrase. Written on my mirror here in Samkong.

Sorry. Haven’t got a full size image of this incredible painting. It’s in my closet at home if you wanna check it out sometime.

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Trashcans and Recycling. Non-existent would be a good term for this topic. I seriously pondered starting a recycling company here in Phuket, but that would be less about distributing containers, and more about changing an entire civilizations mindset. Impossible. Maybe they sort the trash, but who knows. They go through so many water bottles that it seems hard to believe that they would just let it slide, but it sure seems that way. Its not filthy here at all, but you couldn’t really find a trashcan anywhere…not just in public, but anywhere. That being said, I did apparently I’ve passed by trash cans many times, however, I thought they were little dog houses because there are so many stray dogs here. Turns out they were actually trashcan lids and accompanying bins…Yes, I’m an idiot.

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Let’s do a listing activity of crazy shit I have digested upon my arrival to this country. Readers who don’t know me should note that I was a vegetarian for 10 years before coming here.

• wild boar
• squid
• shrimp
• red snapper
• chicken
• pork
• shark
• octopus
• prawn
• some crazy Chinese style fish and multiples thereof
• pig
• fried fish skin
• pig’s ear
• liver
• ox
• fried fish skin
• a lot of other hard shelled fish that I chewed for too long before realizing it should not be digested
• there was likely other stuff out there, but some of my Thai friends simply didn’t know how to explain it in English
• what’s next?

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I’ve lost touch with so much of the music I held dear since I’ve been here, but whadda ya expect. If you come to Thailand to simply listen to music the you’re missing the Boat to Progress. That’s a Pressure Sounds reference for everyone of you who dunno. I’ve found that if you were to wear your iPod everywhere you go, you’d miss out on all the Thai people who just want to say ‘Sawatdee-khap” to you and admire your bizarre nature. That’ll be touched on shortly. The listening or lack thereof has led me to reinvite why I love Roots Reggae so much. The simplicity and the genuine nature of the music, and also the underlying themes and heavy riddims. Here is a quick list of stuff outside the Realm of Rastafari that gets heavy airplay to my ears.

• Tribe – Midnight Mauraders
• Automato
• Lightheaded
• The Dead – Live at Winterland 1974
• Digable Planets – Blowout Comb & Reachin’
• Bobby Hutcherson – Stick Up
• Dr. Dog – We All Belong
• Wes Montgomery – Incredible Jazz Guitar
• Toumani Diabate – Ancient Strings
• Fela Kuti – Lots and Lots and Lots
• SA-RA Creative Partners
• Augustus Pablo ( ok ,so this is in the Realm, but seriously, nuff said)
• The Dynospectrum
• Pete Philly and Perquisite – Mindstate….HEAVY Rotation since December
• Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra
• Up, Bustle, & Out
• Owusu and Hannibal
• Bonobo: Dial M For Monkey
• Boozoo Bajou: Satta
• Gentleman and the Far East Band
• Radio Citizen
• Yesterday’s New Quintet

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Here in Thailand I mentioned that the internet cafes are not really Internet cafes, they’re gaming cafes because the only thing they get used for is playing online games and not for any sort of information research. The average age in these places is 14 years old and strictly all males.

They seriously love this shit so much. Most of them play role playing games which is fine for community playing, but sometimes they play this breakdancing game which looks like the lamest crap you could possibly imagine.

I started crackin up the first nite I saw them playin it because they do exactly what I used to rip on my friends as a kid for doin when playing video games, and that is physical movement that coincides with the character in the game…aka moving controller up when Mario jumps as if it is helping in some sort of fashion. It’s all in the thumbs not the whole body.

So these kids literally rock out to the music on the headphones which is god knows what, but it’s a sight to see man. Hey whatever floats your boat, but don’t think someone is not making a mental note and writing halfway around the world to report your dumbass actions.

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Teaching English in Thailand. Guess I could talk forever on that, but I really enjoy teaching. The people here are wonderful, and my altruistic personality just fits nicely in the classroom. The course ends on Friday and I have no idea where in the world I am going to end up.

The Thai government is making it absolutely miserable for expats nowadays after the Jon Benet Ramsey shit last year. I still lack the BA, and despite having job prospects respond with “you have all the credentials necessary, and we would love to hire you, but we can’t get you a work permit without that paper”. So, it’s an “it’s them not us” kinda thing. I might have a job lined up right above the fuckin school I am going to which is kinda funny, but I suppose I could dig stayin’ in Phuket for a while longer. I haven’t even explored hardly anything in this area. Too much going on to just roam around for the last month.

My other idea which I think I am going to move forward with is Chengdu, China. Located in the heart of the mainland at the foothills of the Himalayas, and bustling just like every other Chinese metropolis. Well, I’ll certainly let you guys know where I end up. Other resumes have gone to Makassa, Indonesia; Ho Chi Minh City Vietnam; some city, Korea; Jakarta, Indonesia; Bangkok, Thailand…and other places. Yeah, so where the bus stops is where I’ll get off.

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I miss H. Johnson so much from WABE 90.1 FM back in the ATL. I gotta start listening via web. I will die thinking he is the coolest man to ever walk the Earth. He’d bring a smile to my face ever time his wonderful voice would come across the air. I have his email address, and I’m gonna make my best attempt to impress him with some musical knowledge, but I already know I gotta offer some rare groove, cause he is on his game.

He hit the back burner for a while, largely cuz my crap Aiwa stereo couldn’t even pick up a station that was four miles away, but once it was resolved I listened nearly every Saturday, and the first time I tuned back in I knew why I was an idiot for not making the extra measure to hunt that airwave down. If you know, you know. If you don’t know, its 90.1 FM near the left hand side of the dial and it is 9:00 pm – 2:00 am every Saturday.

So, the first time back listening for me, he plays some wicked jam, and starts singing along. This is typical fashion except he sang and hummed along to the whole fifteen minute groove. Only at the end when he intended to turn the mic back on did he say he thought the mic was off the whole time. Fuckin classic. I listened every Saturday from then on, and didn’t regret not socializing on a Saturday nite in the least bit.

Listen to Jazz Classics with H. Johnson on WABE 90.1 FM, Atlanta

Somebody take a quality photo of this legendary man. Can’t find anything on the Web. Oh well, it’s his voice and style that make him “the coolest cat ever”.

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Cigarette packs are the greatest here because they require full photos of the repercussions of smoking on the cover. I’ve seen a dissected chest showing the lungs of someone who smokes way more than I do, and a woman holding a baby and smoking, a guy with a tube inserted into his throat, rotten teeth, etc, etc, and the best of which is a guy smoking with skulls looking down on his being. I think it is the greatest thing ever.

Not that I am unfamiliar with the negatives associated with smoking, but because of the awesome imagery on every pack of smokes. I mean, no shit that smoking is bad for you, but skull and crossbones on your shoulder when you light up, that’s fantastic. Anytime you voluntarily inhale carcinogens, you kill yourself, and if you don’t understand that then you are an idiot. On the same token, nobody has ever died from smoking herb.

Oh yeah. They got these here too!………Not.

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