Running up the hill near my hotel. This was a good idea gone terribly wrong. I used to love running before I came to Thailand, and I actually completed a 10K every week, if not twice a week, out at Stone Mountain Park. Man do I really miss that place. You couldnâ€™t zone out and run like that here to save your fucking life. I did finish one half-marathon back in December, and had every intention to continue my training toward a full marathon here, but trust meâ€¦.you walk, and I mean walk, down Yaowarat Rd. and you try to tell me how in the hell that would ever happen.
I asked a local where to run and this hill is recommended which is right near where I live. At the top is a Fitness Park. Sounds great, right? Think again. I go out one day with the idea that leaving around sunset would be fitting, pun intended, so that I could watch the sunset from the top, and then come down. The hill is brutal, however it does possess a wicked view of Phuket from the top, but it also possesses some of the scariest wild dogs you could ever imagine. I make it up find despite some nasty blind curves.
Get to the top and love the view, but the Fitness Park has nothing I could figure out. It was weird ass metal poles that even me being someone who is familiar with working out couldnâ€™t figure out what they were used for. Maybe some pictures can add to the bizzarityâ€¦yeah I made that term up. Guess I gotta take a motorbike back up if I wanna take pictures. Additionally, at the top are signs that state â€œBeware of Monkeyâ€¦May Bite Uâ€. I was told that they really have migrated from there, but still. One is probably still around, and I bet you it would love my Georgian blood.
On the way down. I get my power walking in, and this place is filled with pricey houses and a radio station which are why the dogs truly exist, and sure enough, here comes a pack of nineâ€¦no shitting you NINE. Talk about freak out mode. I was looking for the nearest tree or flatbed truck, and sure enough there wasnâ€™t one. So I know from simply being a human that running past them is not the answer. Slow-Mo walking was in full effect, and were it not for a single distraction to them all, I donâ€™t know if Iâ€™d even have hands to type this email, let alone be alive to divulge the information. One random black dog distracts them all and I fuckin’ booked it for this business over yonderâ€¦.ya like that Georgia slang even though Iâ€™d never say that term. Well, hell, over yonder was my safe haven, and thank Buddha for that.
So guess what I did two days later, I try the hill again. Iâ€™ve always been someone who never learns the first time around. It often takes 25 times or a 1,000. Well, it was twice for this hill because I made it half way up, and it wasnâ€™t the NINE, but it was the FOUR this time, and these are not Jaspers, Otises, Libby(es) however that is pluralized, or Atticus(es)â€¦ditto, these are dogs that are out for white manâ€™s blood. They could give two fucks about Thai peopleâ€¦itâ€™s the sudden strange scent that I possess, and Iâ€™ll blame it on Libby since she is the last dog I lived with. By the way all of those dogs and their counterparts would be ruined on this hill. Fetching a ball is not in the agenda for these type of dogs.
Anyways, I see the FOUR and its lights out for my exercise session. Straight back down it was, and were it not for a couple gatesâ€¦.like I saidâ€¦might not see this email. Needless to say, havenâ€™t gone back up since except on my friendâ€™s motorbike.
Oh yeah, I was also told by the school that this was absolutely not a good idea. My friend asked during class for everyone to give adjectives for â€œdark, dangerous, and mysteriousâ€, and I later learned that he was asking for better descriptions of this hill. My adjective was â€œlife-threateningâ€. Iâ€™m glad I still have calf muscles and arms. I still havenâ€™t been running regularly which pisses me off. I’ll figure it out soon enough.